So you're quitting.
You're giving up the diet and exercise 'thing' and have decided that you'll just go with the flow and see what happens to your body when the experts aren't poking their noses into your business and ramming their idea of healthy down your throat.
What a great idea!
No more 'eat this' or 'don't eat that', no more 'don't forget your cardio' or 'weights is better'.
In fact, no more interference of any kind from the countless do-goobers who seem to think that it's OK for them to advise, nag and bully you into following all kinds of fat loss and fitness advice... as long as it's theirs.
Good on you!
But before you take the quitters route that most people take, doesn't it make sense to quit in the right way?
Sure it does!
There's a science to quitting too y'know and I'm just the person to share it with you : )
So here's the deal. If you want to quit and quit fast, if you want to pack on pound after pound of soft, warm, figure-blurring body-fat then you've got to have a strategy.
You've got to have a plan.
MY plan is easy, straightforward and six-year-old-simple to follow and consists of just seven rules that, if you follow them, will guarantee you the maximum fat gain in the shortest time frame.
It consists of just 7 rules
Rule one: Only eat processed foods
If you're truly serious about packing on some serious fat-pounds, you'll follow this rule faithfully.
Without a doubt, processed foods are the No.1 friend to fat due to their denatured, sugar-loaded and mostly synthetic nature.
With most of the vitamins and minerals removed from processed foods, the highly calorific and mostly indigestible remain, creating a massive storehouse of both calories and toxins for you to bury deep within your already overloaded fatty tissues.
Better still, the toxic nature of most processed foods mean that you'll gain not only fat but a whole lot of subcutaneous water too as your body tries to 'dilute' the impact of all the extra toxins you're holding onto, meaning that you'll put on extra scale weight and look soft and squidgy into the bargain.
Rule two: Cram in as many starchy carbs as you can
Starchy carbs eaten in isolation or, better yet, with sugary carbs are an absolutely fantastic way to accelerate the battle of the bulge and gain both fat and body weight at a more rapid pace.
Eating carbohydrates in isolation allows your hormones to engage in a free-running form of guerrilla warfare where insulin levels raise through the roof and, in doing so, command your body to store fat.
A word of warning though; whatever you do, don't mix your starches with fats or proteins. This reduces both the amount and the effect of all that lovely insulin and will definitely scupper your chances at serious fat gain.
Rule Three: Get to bed as late as you can
If rapid fat gain is your greatest desire, then make sure that you get to bed as late as you possibly can, with the ideal scenario being that you stay up so late every night that you fall asleep on the sofa.
Doing This will ensure a steady supply of the stress hormone cortisol into your bloodstream to help you break down all that energy-consuming lean muscle tissue that's slowing down your fat gain.
Just don't ruin the effect by getting to bed by 10:30 or you'll find that the cortisol levels drop far too low to cannibalism your muscle and you may even find that you lose all your precious fat!
Rule four: Steer clear of water
Drink too much water and you'll not only do away with your body's false food cravings (meaning that you won't eat unnecessarily), but you'll also create a freer flowing route for the digestion of the foods you've eaten.
Obviously, this is a bad thing as it means you won't keep undigested foods in your stomach long enough for them to go putrid and add to the overall toxic load on your system.
Rule five: Don't forget the alcohol
Alcohol is just about as pure a sugar source as you can get and is absolutely jam-packed with calories that contribute nothing to the function of your body.
During the heating process they vibrate the molecules of your food so fast that they actually change their structure, meaning that when you eat nuked food, your body has no idea about how to cope with them, let alone extract nutrition from them.
This is fantastic for your fat gain quest because you'll be adding to your toxic load AND creating a surplus of non-nutritional calories, meaning that you'll get hungry again very soon after eating and have another opportunity to stock up on calories.
Rule Six: Avoid all unnecessary movement
There's no getting away from it, movement of any kind costs you valuable calorie-energy and robs you of the vital fat building stores that'll be necessary for your quest.
Stay as still as you can to conserve as much energy as possible and commit to using as many labor-saving devices as you can find. Things like remote controls, stair lifts, escalators etc all serve a valuable role in the creation of your fat stores, so use them.
If you are forced to move, then whatever you do, don't engage in any form of activity that might lead to an increase in strength or muscle mass as this'll speed up your metabolism and rob you of calories. Instead, engage in steady-state, slow aerobic activities as these are energy efficient and have the added benefit of increasing cortisol and, in doing so, breaking down that calorie-robbing muscle tissue.
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